That Time I Made a “Bad” Movie…

The film I made is… pretty bad. It has barely any plot, no character development, enough shaky cam to put The Blaire Witch Project to shame, and it was made on a zero dollar budget. Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself:

This lovely film was a final project for a class I was in. We were given complete creative control to make a film/segment of our choosing. So naturally, I chose to make a short film. But what was it going to be about? It wasn’t until I was watching Kill Bill Vol. 1&2 (sorry to drag Quentin Tarantino into this) that an idea hit me. I was going to make a movie about a badass super spy who kicks ass and takes names, and it was going to be a masterpiece.

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But who was going to be my star? After much deliberation/scrambling for actors, my roommate (who wishes to remain nameless due to the sheer embarrassment of the production) was the best choice for the role. She was going to play agent Linnehan, a spy who’d seemingly left the business, only to return to assist in one last mission: to retrieve a stolen cat. No, I’m not joking. Her “boss” who remained nameless throughout the film for creative reasons (not because I forgot) was played by my friend Audrey. Audrey was perfect for the role because she was free on Saturday and she had a cat. The last thing I needed was an antagonist. Insert my boyfriend Shamus, a classically trained actor who unfortunately had to be in this joke of a film. It took some planning and writing but BOOM! I had a movie worthy enough to get me a B+.

I had a vision in my head as to how the film would turn out. I wanted to have a gripping story about a spy who uses her sexuality and strength to defeat evil and save the day. What I got instead was a mediocre film I show my friends when we’re drunk. So why am I sharing this terrible film with you? Because while my film will never be nominated for an Oscar, I am proud of it. I got to make a fun film with my friends and explore my creative side. I got to experience what it was like planning and writing, styling and shooting, visualizing and creating a movie. Even though it wasn’t what I expected or necessarily wanted for my film, it made me appreciate good filmmaking even more. You’ll never know how hard it is to make a film… until you try to make one yourself.

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  1. If the movie’s called agent Linnehan, I don’t really think she stayed anonymous like you said she wanted to be. A little cringy, but a good learning experience. Every aspiring director has their backyard home movies they made with friends, it’s a common stepping stone in their careers. I hope this doesn’t discourage you, and you go one to much bigger and more professional productions. And don’t worry, everyone in the movie are far better actors than Tommy Wiseau. Oh, hi Mark!


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